Finding Humility

I found Humility at a party of all places. I was invited to a grand party, a huge celebration, an elite gathering. I was so excited for the event, buying elaborate and lavish clothes and accessories. But when I arrived at the party, I started feeling like I didn’t really fit in. I tried to dance, I tried to eat, I tried to be merry and celebrate with all the people there, but it didn’t feel right. The more I tried to socialize, the more I tried to make it seem like I was important and belonged there, the more I realized I didn’t. Dressed in my fancy dress and too expensive shoes, I was trying too hard to create an illusion that wasn’t real. So I decided to sit down in the back, further away from the others attempting the same dance that I had just relieved myself of doing. And that’s where I found her. 

She caught the corner of my eye, wearing the simplest of dresses that somehow created the most elegant of appearances. She stood in the back of the room, holding a drink and looking into the crowd, almost as if making judgement on the illusions she knew the crowd was fabricating. She saw me try to catch her eye and gave me the most dazzling of looks but went back to scouring the room.

So I got up to introduce myself to Humility. But as soon as I got up, she turned around and walked out of the room. I felt as though she intended me to follow, so I grabbed my things and went where she had been, catching a glimpse of the hem of her dress disappearing down the hallway. Quicker and quicker she went, and as I began to run after her, I found myself dropping things, my fancy coat, my small clutch—things I brought to the party but knew I didn’t need anyway. I saw her take a turn down a more narrow hallway that actually led up to a flight of stairs. I took off my heels and began to to climb. My makeup began to run and my hair fell from its ornate style. My dress started to weigh me down so I tore the hem to make it lighter, tore the sleeves to make it easier to climb, higher and higher. I continued, seeing the edge of her dress, or the heel of her shoe, as she went further up the stairs. 

And just when I was ready to give up, to go back down to the party where I knew I would be somewhat accepted again, I ended up at a door. Humility must have gone through to the other side. So I paused, took a deep breath and opened it. On the other side, I saw a huge open space with the most dazzling of lights. The space was big and green and filled with people. Some were sitting in groups, others wandering around. But in the middle of the wide open space stood Humility, but she was a part of a dance. There were people, all coordinated, all in sync, dancing to the most melodious tune, all in rhythm around Humility. There she stood most radiant of all in the center of the dance. The dancers at first looked like me. They looked like they had struggled, had worked hard to get here, with torn clothes, no shoes, disheveled. But when the radiance of Humility hit them, their whole appearance seemed to change. What they were wearing appeared so beautiful, so elegant, the most dazzling of clothes—clothes that no man could ever make on his own. The room full of people I left behind felt dull in comparison.

Humility stepped out from her dance and came over to greet me. But without any words, she gestured to invite me into the dance, into the rhythm. No words really were needed for that invitation, not with Humility anyway. I paused for a moment, was I really able to join the dance? Everyone looked like they belonged there, like they always were meant to be there. I was just me and honestly had less to bring to the table than before. But somehow I knew that is actually what qualified me more for the dance. So I joined in, finding myself easily falling into step and into the shine of Humility.

Yes, Humility can only ever be found by those who seek her. If you don’t look closely enough, you may even well miss her your whole life. But search for her and you will find her. Many think she is just shy, that she is hiding for that reason. Others think she is conceited, thinking she is better than others and doesn’t want to be bothered. But in reality, she is just firm on the truth, of who she was created to be. She doesn’t need to be seen, at least, to those who don’t look. She has designed it that way, designed it to cost you everything to search after her. But lose the things you think are important and you will find the more important things. And seek after Humility your whole life and not only will you find her, you will find that you will begin to look just like her.